cardboard testimony.

Great video my friend Doug passed along this week:

Keeping Your Job and Your Sanity: Part III

Missed Part I and Part II?

During these months, I started to take solace in this quote: “I can’t apologize about where God is calling me.” I just didn’t know where God was calling me.

That seems direct and to the point. But the issue is also much larger. If I place all hope in myself, I am not allowing space for God to move. Perhaps God is saying that my journey here is over and is placing a call on someone else’s life to carry the baton. In my overfunctioning, my blinders were keeping me focused straight ahead, running forward with everything I had in me.

I eventually left and moved onto another ministry position. My “official” reasons were many, and made much sense. Looking back, I realize that burnout was probably the biggest reason, although I don’t know that I was aware of it at the time. I was only part-time. Why did I think I could do all of that, without even so much as a weekend vacation? Without some sort of stress-reliever.

My new position was temporary, and I often wondered if I should have stayed in that first church and tried to push through. I wondered when I left if that church would survive -- that was the overfunctioning talking.

With space between that time and now, I see that the church has moved ahead, and others became empowered when I stepped aside.

A former student in the youth ministry took the reigns of the youth ministry for a season. Talks about the new building moved ahead. That video projection ended up in the Sanctuary. New families began attending the church. Another couple stepped up to lead the college-age/stage ministry.

I thank God for my time there. I learned so much, and as I moved into a new ministry position, I knew myself better and could position myself to not fall into the same traps. I knew my boundaries of time, of communication, of needing a personal day off.

Overfunctioning? I’m done with it! I hope I never find myself thinking that the future of the church I work in is based only on the success of the ministries I oversee. I have to create that space between myself and my job, differentiating my sense of self from my work. When a day is good, I can celebrate. But when a day is bad, I need to separate myself from the situation.

And I learned about conflict and anxiety. The deacons who cried “foul” were simply anxious. The problem was not me, and I see that now. But I did not have the experience or the maturity then to know that. I laugh at that story now. If I keep living stories like that, I might have to write a book!

God is working in the midst of what I do. And God is working in the midst of what I don’t do. As long as I am in tune with God’s call for my life, then the rest will fall into place. Sometimes that might include leaving a ministry position. Other times it will mean staying even when it hurts. But God provides, and that’s all that really matters.

Read the original.

Keeping Your Job and Your Sanity: Part II

Missed Part I?

The pastor had visions of a new building, with increased fellowship space, new offices and a new place for the youth ministry to call home. The existing youth space was the original sanctuary and had been renovated by the students. They didn’t want to see it go away, but the reality of a decaying structure had rendered the building passe. So what did I do? Spent countless hours drawing up plans and drawings for a new structure.

What about my job? Oh, right. I was still leading the youth ministry, planning events, teaching Bible studies and keeping that train moving. In and of itself, it seemed to be an uphill battle.

When a renovation of the Sanctuary came around the following spring, I worked hard to give the Facilities Team a proposal for a video projection system. “That will help the church move forward,” I thought.

Following an intense Bible study on poverty with the students, we planned a huge community concert/fundraiser. The schedule included bands all afternoon, food and entertainment, with the proceeds benefitting poverty-fighting organizations. We raised a few thousand dollars, energized the congregation and brought much of the church out to enjoy the afternoon.

By that point, I was looking for jobs. “I can’t go on,” I reasoned. “I can’t keep putting this much energy into this.” The night after the fundraiser, I had an unofficial interview at another church.

A week later, I was to fill in for the pastor while he and his wife got away on a much needed vacation. He would miss two Sundays, and I would preach both times, serving Communion on the second Sunday. Deacons in the congregation cried “foul”: I was not ordained, how could I possibly be serving communion? One of them even boycotted communion while he was sitting in the pew!

I interviewed officially for that job in early June, but didn’t get it. I had another opportunity pop up, but the logistics were too difficult to solve. I returned to my office each day dismayed, tired and frustrated. My boss’ kids were in high school and college, so our discussion often turned to keeping it going, for the sake of his kids.

The pressure was mounting, and I was finding no release. My family visited during that fundraising concert and had a conversation with the Pastor. He knew most of my frustrations, and I knew some of his. He voiced some of that to my family, letting them know he hoped I wouldn’t leave.

Check back tomorrow for the finale, Part III.

Keeping your Job and Your Sanity: Part I

I bought into the myth. The myth that a vital, thriving ministry to youth, college students and young adults would draw families into an aging church. Youth don't have money to tithe, and young adults just don't tithe. But their families bring money. And more people.

To a church past its 125th anniversary, in a neighborhood past the rapid suburban growth, increasing in average age, money, people and vitality are important for survival.

Once that myth wrapped its loving arms around me, filling the role of youth pastor seemed to be the most important role to birthing a new day in that church. The future of the church sets itself on your shoulders, and it’s off to the races.

When I started at the church, three students had just graduated high school. My first year, four graduated.

As we entered the next year, I knew 5 students would be graduating at years’ end, leaving a small group of students still in the ministry. I knew that it would be my last unless something changed.

What did I do? I worked harder. I spent more hours on things that weren’t in my job description, hoping those ministries could either become part of my job or result in fruitful growth that would perpetuate my current job description.

My job was 15-20 hours a week during the school year. I was also in my first year of seminary. And I was single. With no reason to be home, I worked late into the evenings, just trying to make something happen.

It started with the young adult ministry. I laid out a vision, shared with the young adults and the church, set a start date, invited other churches to be involved. The pastor was excited: he had a college-age son, so the ministry would attract him to the church. Church leadership was excited. The first night we had five young adults. Over the weeks that followed, we had a dozen young adults show their faces. It was great. They said it was just what they needed. It lasted a few months, but I was the only one sensing the call to lead, and I burned out.

Check back tomorrow for Part II.

MISSION WEEKEND PROMO VIDEO

I didn't have a video camera, and needed to create a promotional video for our churchwide mission celebration weekend. Here's what we got...

IT STICKS WITH YOU

Remember those bean burritos you had last night, and how they just keep coming back? Yeah, missions is like that. Funny ad from Amor:

EVERYTHING MUST CHANGE

I just got a message on Facebook from my first youth pastor. I knew he had been working on a new project for a while, but didn't know what it was. He's been working behind the scenes on EverythingMustChange.org. I haven't had a chance to read Brian McLaren's new book, which the site is based around, but I've heard great things. Kind of exciting to know the behind-the-scenes guys...

A NEW DAY HAS COME?

Check it out: my preview of The New Christians, Tony Jones' latest due in stores next week.

I wrote the preview (duh!) before I read the book, but now that I've started, it's hard to put it down! It certainly gives me hope for the church. Stay tuned, the full-fledged review will be up in a few days, and I'll post it here too.

REV. LEE

February 10th marked the first of two monumental events on my calendar in 2008. My home church ordained me in a service Sunday afternoon. It was a great time to see friends, family, teachers, baseball coaches, former pastors. Dr. Burhans (left), Chaplain Emeritus at the University of Richmond, spoke during the service. And Norman got a family shot to make up for the camera issues we had at the beach...

And now you can call me Reverend Lee. But just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

CHRISTMAS WITH A CAPITAL C

I don't normally listen to Christian radio. For whatever reason, though, I had the new local station on during my drive to class. After the morning's Scripture reading from the Book of Psalms, the anchor said, "And remember, Merry Christmas. With a capital 'C.'"

Sunday morning in worship, during the epically-long greeting, the welcomer said, "Now we'll do something that you probably haven't done very much. And forget being politically correct. Say this after me, 'Merry Christmas.'"

This morning I received an e-mail, purportedly shared by Ben Stein on CNN (although it did resemble a lot of SPAM/urban legend-type e-mails: SNOPES says a variation is true). The message was from Ben Stein:

I am a Jew and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish, and it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautifully lit-up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don’t feel threatened. I don’t feel discriminated against. That’s what they are -- Christmas trees.

I'm trying really hard to be "merry" this Christmas season. For the past half-decade (maybe longer), I have been bombarded with academic work in the days leading up to Christmas. It's been a struggle to find joy in that kind of a season! I still have class this year, professors are still assigning papers and exams, but I am trying hard. Then I realized that maybe my trouble finding joy is more about the "church" than about me.

Every time we turn around, someone else is fighting for "Christmas." Fighting? For Christmas? We can worship in our churches and celebrate with our families any way we want. Ben Stein said he's not offended. A quick history lesson:

In 1492, King Franz Ferdinand and Isabella finally "cleansed" the Spanish countryside of the last Muslims and the nation become solely Christian. What came after that? [Yes, fourth grade history wizards, Columbus sailed the ocean blue.] The Protestant Reformation came next right on its heels. The voice of a new kind of Christian that was not concerned with everyone worshipping the same way. This voice wanted to give everyone freedom of worship, and a separation of the Church and the state.

If the Church keeps fighting about Christmas, there will likely be a new Protestant Reformation. According to Phyllis Tickle, it will happen, if it's not happening already. Then maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to celebrate Christmas without hearing about a fight.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

Jesus comes into the city on a simple mule, and you got people today expanding His gospel in corporate jets.

Senator CHARLES E. GRASSLEY
on the investigation of six prominent evangelistic ministries and whether they illegally used donations to finance lavish lifestyles

from Time Magazine's Quote of the Day

YOUR SOUL COSTS:

from the desk of JC. no, not THAT one...

What is the price or value of a soul?

$215,000.

That's the price that Wal-mart has put on each of their customers. A couple weeks ago, I happened upon a documentary on CNBC about the inner workings of Wal-mart. It was a very interesting program. One of the main things that stood out to me is that Wal-mart has done extensive research into their business.

If, for example, I go into my local Wal-mart store and get bad service; can't find what I need; have to wait in the checkout line too long; or anything else that really makes me upset, Wal-mart knows that they have a lot to lose. In fact, they've calculated the value of what I'm worth to them. If I get mad at Wal-mart and never return, I have just cost the company (on average) $215,000. That's how much sales they have figured they will lose from the average customer over their lifetime if they don't come back...

Wal-mart puts a high value on me and every other person and family in my community.

Many churches, on the other hand, seemingly couldn't care less about the people in their community. Sure, we give them lip service, but when it really comes down to reaching our target, many of us are too busy arguing about carpet color, worship styles, and how much to 'give' to missions in Africa, all the while missing the main point of reaching our own community for Christ.

Wal-mart provides diapers and socks and hemorrhoid cream for a profit.

The church offers eternal life and salvation for free.

Shouldn't our communities know we value them at least as much as Wal-mart?

MISSION MINUTE: PERU

In the first (of hopefully many) Mission Minute features for Bon Air, we take a look at the team that recently traveled to Peru as part of the disaster response after the August earthquakes. On the personal side, my dad was on this trip so it was fun putting together the stories from his trip with work.

Bon Air Baptist Church

worship

One of my classes this semester is entitled, "Music and Worship." I am trying very hard to be objective about the worship experiences I have had in churches during the past few years, and put them through the filters of effective, Biblical worship that we have examined in class.

During an entire year in college, my friend, Mike, and I traveled to churches around the city each Sunday, including all denominations in our search. There was no specific goal in mind, but we wanted to see the numerous traditions in the city. Aside from a few stylistic elements in each church, all of the "contemporary" and all of the "classic" services looked and felt the same. I guess in the quest to follow the inspiration of God, it is good to know that many are on the same page. However, I have still not seen a worship service where I think I would be drawn into a worshipful experience.

I have never listened to myself lead worship, but perhaps I lead the same way as all of the other contemporary worship leaders. What I have seen in this contemporary worship movement is a move toward fun, happy, joyful, entertaining music. Many times, the contemporary band is comprised of middle-aged adults who struggle to appeal to younger generations. Often, I have seen the music be

Occasionally, I have seen youth worship gatherings that touch on my ideal worship setting, but they are only weekend-long, or week-long experiences. Here are the pieces I see as being necessary:

Organically-created music leadership: the service need not be dominated by an electronic keyboard, electric guitar and synthesized drumset. Make it real, make it authentic. Our worship should be real and authentic, and the instrumention should indicate that.

Create a living room environment: So many churches have worked to make the music "comfortable" to non-churched people; or they bring in food, coffee and other creature comforts. Why not make it feel like a living room? [ok, a family room. Living room situations don't tend to be that comfortable!]. What do I mean by living room setting? Lay out a rug where the worship leader and pastor are standing, turn down the lights and create an environment of closeness. We know we are part of a large gathering because we hear the voices. By turning down the lights, we allow ourselves to be drawn into a closeness with God, yet remain a part of the larger gathering. For me, leaving the lights on gives me a sense that someone is watching me at all times. This also does not mean flashy lights, or a lot of high-impact media. I have some media on my TV, but I don't have a high-tech light show, and certainly not a disco ball!

Use Scripture, traditions of hymns, litanies: I heard a story of a church that tried to be anti-traditional with their new worship service. The traditions of the Church can make a worship experience much richer. Our people, the younger generations especially, are looking for a challenge. A watered-down faith does not challenge them. Raising the bar high, knowing the expectations of living a Christ-like life and understanding what worship has looked like for centuries incorporates that challenge into the worship setting.

I don't know that the list stops there, but that's enough for my first outline. Kim and I had a conversation Monday night about our desire for a worship gathering where we connected, and a church family that included people our age. It is incredibly difficult to find, and is made more difficult in that I will inevitably be working in a church after we get married. I trust that we will find a place to be, a place to serve, a place to worship and a place to commune.

ylp.

Part two of the Young Leaders Program starts tomorrow afternoon. I've tried to be more motivated about posting on the blog, so I figure this is as good of a time as any to start posting every day. I'll try to update during our three days of class. Maybe it will work!

update: So posting more often didn't really happen. At least not about YLP, yet. It will. One day.

threads: get uncomfortable.

For a couple years, I have had the hardest time finding decent Bible studies for college students. Get Uncomfortable has great media included -- not an overdose, but a nice compliment -- and great insight on a subject that so many students are passionate about these days: serving the poor, stopping injustice, changing the world...in Jesus' name.

story time.

This is such a great story. While I did not take it lightly as it occurred, I did not let it drag me down. This episode happened in early 2007. I did not feel comfortable posting the story then, due to my employment at the church. Now, we have all moved on so I feel as though I can write and share this story. I suppose that if I write each of these magnificent stories that occur in my ministry, I will have quite a collection by the time I retire!

In April, the pastor met with the Deacons as they do each month. The pastor was anticipating his upcoming vacation at the beginning of June, so he mentioned it to the Deacons. I would be preaching each of the 2 Sundays he would be away, one being the first Sunday -- when Baptists traditionally serve Communion.

The Deacons did not offer much opposition to me being the one to serve Communion. The issue: I'm not ordained. Two Deacons did have a problem with me not being ordained, but did not discuss the issue to any great extent. The following Wednesday, myself still oblivious to this situation taking place, one of those Deacons confronted one of the church's trustees in the hallway prior to the Wednesday night dinner. A crowd had gathered for dinner, and [Deacon A] started quite a show. When I asked the trustee later about the conversation, he said, "Aaron, you have just as high of a calling as anybody else in this church -- deacon or no, ordained or not ordained. I don't see any problem with you serving Communion, and I told [Deacon A] that exact thing."

[Deacon A], it seemed, was in this for selfish reasons: if the Pastor, an ordained minister, is not present to serve Communion, [Deacon A] is the only other ordained minister in the church. He truly hoped for a church to minister in, but for numerous reasons, he had not had that opportunity recently. The story gets more interesting...

Apparently [Deacon A] called numerous people in the church beyond that first Trustee. He called and talked to the Pastor again and again. Yet he never mentioned the issue to me.

The Sunday before Communion Sunday, I walked into the Deacon's Prayer Time before Sunday worship and Bible study. [Deacon A] informed the Deacons that he would be out of town for much of August, and needed to switch his duty as "Deacon of the Month" to June, the upcoming month. Deacon of the Month is on call for any special needs; greets people on the way out of the Sanctuary on Sunday morning; and prepares the elements of Communion. [Deacon A] was now responsible for preparing Communion the following Sunday.

On the way out of church that morning, [Deacon A] stopped and told me that he would prepare Communion for the following Sunday, but would not be in worship for "personal reasons." Imagine my surprise the next Sunday morning before worship as I am reading through my sermon when I hear his voice from the back. Why the change of heart? I still do not know.

That morning, I changed the order of worship. Immediately following the sermon, we collected the offering. Five deacons came forward, but not [Deacon A]. But we need 6 to cover the entire Sanctuary. Another man in the congregation jumped up to assist. Following the offering, we moved into Communion. That man turned around to [Deacon A] because he knew a deacon should be assisting with Communion; he was ignored by [Deacon A]. Not only was I serving Communion, but so was an unordained man from the congregation!

We distributed the bread (the Body of Christ) to the deacons/servers who passed it throughout the congregation. When they returned to the front, this is what I said: On the night that Jesus ate with His disciples in the Upper Room, He welcomed them to that place by washing their feet, a sign of his servanthood. Just as Christ served others, may we now serve others. Offer your piece of bread to the person sitting next to you, saying, 'This is Christ's body, broken for you.' Everyone in the congregation turned to their neighbor. A woman sitting behind [Deacon A] turned to him but was brushed off: [Deacon A] could not participate because he had not taken the bread!

The Chairman of the Deacons offered the prayer for the juice (the Blood of Christ) and the deacons distributed the juice around the Sanctuary. [Deacon A] took the juice. There is one of two possibilities: he was simply boycotting the bread because I had offered the prayer for that element (this is the most likely possibility; in fact, the truth, I believe); or he was so embarrassed by the first experience of not having bread to share that he now wanted to make sure he would not be embarrassed again.

[Deacon B] took a different approach. He remained quiet, yet opposed, and simply did not come to church that morning, saying he and his wife would be away visiting family that weekend. Although I didn't agree with his perspective, I certainly respect him for how he handled the situation -- quietly, to himself.

Baptists believe in the "priesthood of all believers," which signifies the right of each and every person to pray and hear from God. It does not make sense, then, that only some people are eligible to serve. Ordination itself is a strange concept to me, but will be a part of my work in the church.

I left that church soon after, but this experience was not at all a part of my decision to leave. It was simply God's call, and I had been sensing that nudging for close to a year.

strange.

It is not very often that I preach at church. Generally, the pastor is there on Sundays. If he's not, either I will fill in, or we'll call one of our friends to come preach. In just under 2 years, I've preached 4 times, this coming Sunday being #4.

Last April, I preached on Youth Sunday. Sometime in the week just before that Sunday, a member of our church passed away. This is not a huge surprise, as many in our congregation are past retirement and are nearer to the end of life. In August, the pastor and his family were on vacation before their oldest son started college. Just days before he left, as I was preparing to preach on Sunday, another member of our church passed away. Twice seemed a bit strange.

Last weekend, the pastor and his wife left for a week vacation to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. I preached last Sunday, and am getting ready to preach again this Sunday. This morning, I found out another member of our congregation passed away.

After Sunday, I doubt they will ever want me to preach again. I'm not superstitious, but this is just strange.

Campolo.

We spent a good three days with Tony Campolo in town last week. He had a lot of great ideas to share, and was incredibly down to earth. The first night he spoke on Becoming Red-Letter Christians. He gave a similar talk at the Youth Specialties' conference in the fall, but added a bit of Baptist jargon to this one. Second night he spoke on consumerism in America and its relation to true Christianity. I was on the worship team that led music for that worship service, and I had a chance to talk to Tony afterwards. The third day he spoke on the God of Love, as opposed to a god of power. Plenty to think about after the conference.

Later in the week I picked up a copy of his new book, Everybody Wants to CHANGE THE WORLD: Practical Ideas for Social Justice. This is a great collection of ideas and places for individuals and groups to get involved in changing our world. I can't wait to have an opportunity to put some of these ideas into action with the students. A good, quick read and an inspiration!

College-Age Ministry

Just as we were starting our college-age ministry a few months ago, I had a pastor ask me why we had chosen Tuesday night. "Why not Friday night," he asked, "because that's the night they always hang out anyway?"

Maybe that explains why churches aren't doing well with post-grad ministries after students leave the youth ministry. One ministry while I was in college originally met on Friday nights, but moved their meetings because students always had something going on Friday night, and they had a progressively lower attendance.

When will they get it?